Determined To Post...

I am determined to start posting more regularly, but lately there hasn't been just a whole lot to share with the blogging world.

So, a few pictures for you follow :)

I found the cutest 2011 planner to help me stay organized. Cute little note cards to keep up with friends and promote my photography business. The Sharpie packs were at Sam's Club. The price worked out to about fifty cents per marker. They have colors that coordinate with the note cards for cute whimsical little notes and with the planner.

If you know me, you already know that anything organizational caused my heart to beat faster. What you may not know is that anything color-coordinated makes me downright giddy!

The employees at my local Half Price Books know both Alex and I. I'm on a first name basis with one of the managers. That's how much I enjoy that store!

A few weeks ago, I began searching for a few books on adoption. I found some great ones for a pretty great price!

James Dobson's book "Bringing Up Boys" was only three dollars! I had been hearing a lot of buzz on the book "The Connected Child" by Karyn Purvis. Karyn Purvis actually does her work at Fort Worth's TCU (Texas Christian University)!

I started stalking the adoption section at Half Price Books and found an almost new copy. This book has tons of insight into an adopted child's mindset. It was really helpful to me in understanding the neurological basis of their fears and reactions.

I still haven't finished them, but I highly recommend all three of these books!

On a different note, I finally broke down and set an appointment for a haircut tomorrow. I'll try to take a before and after picture to post!

Super Excited!

I am so excited! Why, you might ask, is this girl so excited? Well, let me tell you about it...

First of all, I bet you never have those periods in your life where you think to yourself "I know God has a plan for me. I do! I just wish I knew what the heck it was!"

Yeah, I know. Everyone has those periods, but sometimes I feel like my whole life is lived in this period of uneasy, half-hearted trust. I don't think you can actually call it trust when you are holding on to your trembling confidence by the very tips of your fingernails. To be honest, sometimes, I'm just curled up in the corner hoping no one realizes that my confidence level has dipped dramatically!

Anyway...Alex and I have been wondering when we would have the opportunity to get married and start a family. It didn't even seem like a real possibility. It is definitely something that makes me want to throw up my hands and say "So, God, what IS the plan? I wouldn't mind knowing, if that's alright with you. No, seriously. I wouldn't mind. I'm getting a little frustrated here!"

So, we talked about it, and we decided we really needed to start asking God "What's the plan?" or at least "What's the next step?"

Then, this week, like a hurricane of blessings rolling in... I was able to sign up for a photography class I've wanted to attend for about a year or so AND Alex got a call back for a job interview.

Not just any job interview. A job interview with a starting salary that means that...

1) We have an actual chance of getting married

2) We could do it debt-free (which is way high up on our list of goals!)

3) We could live WAY below our means and save like crazy people, which would give us the opportunity to...

4) Adopt way sooner than we ever dreamed!

So, dear friends, I am super excited.

I am requesting that you pray for us that...

1) Alex gets this amazing job

2) I do great in my class

3) I can build my business quickly and

4) We stay excited no matter what happens!

I've already told God that I am accepting that He might have something better for us, but if not, I am humbly requesting that He grant us this opportunity.

Please keep us in your prayers.

Lots of Love,

Your Favorite Ragamuffin

"Profound starvation for honesty."

I was reading an article on "Blue Like Jazz" author Donald Miller just the other day.

The article says that according to Brian McLaren, author of "A New Kind of Christianity," Miller 'appeals to evangelicals because there is a "profound starvation for honesty."'

That phrase "profound starvation for honesty" has been tumbling around in my mind ever since.

I think he is unerringly correct. Sometimes I feel like I am just CRAVING honesty. Where do you get honesty in this day and age?

Now, I have to admit that while I crave honesty, I am not always honest with myself or others.

I can also use honesty as a tool to hurt or intimidate.

For the most part, my honesty one of those things about me that people generally love or hate.

When someone asks me "How are you doing?" I generally don't say "I'm fine" unless I really am fine. Usually, it's "I'm great!" or "I don't really feel well" or "Sucky." Whatever it is, it's generally honest.

I don't like hiding in social conventions. I don't like "white lies" to make someone feel better about something. I tend to think very black-and-white. I have had to teach myself to recognize the gray.

All that being said, I intend to be pretty darn honest on here. I will work to censor my words and leave out things that don't need to be shared. However, if you are offended, I apologize in advance.

You have two options.

Option #1- Email me and explain how I offended you.

Option #2- Don't read my blog

I am reading "The Ragamuffin Gospel" and I'm slowly coming to terms with my "ragamuffin" status.

I highly recommend you read this book if you know you are broken, weak, bedraggled, and beat-down. This book is for us!

Now, all of this was to get to a point.

Adoption has been laying heavy on my heart.

I have this desire to adopt. Maybe that's not something you think a twenty-three year old, single, certified ragamuffin should admit. But, by George, this is my blog and I'm going to be as honest as possible!

I've had this desire to adopt since I was a child. Somewhere around seven or eight year old, I became aware that there were children out there that lived in the foster system and didn't have a mommy and daddy to take care of them. I think I would have adopted as kid if they would have let me!

When I think about the future, I generally think about adoption in terms of international adoption. Not that I'm ruling out domestic at all! I just think about it internationally. I have never really felt drawn to adopt from one country over the other. I just knew adoption was, Lord God willing, somewhere in my future.

Then, the other day, I had this...thought? vision? concept? daydream?

I don't know how to describe it.

I was hugging my boyfriend and I suddenly saw this little Chinese girl's head on his shoulder.

Like I said, it's really hard to explain, but it was accompanied by this overwhelming feeling that this girl was the first. She was mine.

It was so strange. Seriously.

Then, I got to thinking. China is one of the most stringent places to adopt from!

You have to have something like $80,000 in assets, a certain BMI (Body Mass Index), be in a certain age range, etc.

I am a in-debt-over-my-eyeballs college student/aspiring photographer.

I literally do not see a way to adopt from China in the next ten years. Maybe twenty!

Isn't it great that God is not limited by our circumstances?

I was at one of my blogging heroes' website recently. Ashley Ann wrote a great post on her dreams and adoption. She's also sponsoring a giveaway to Foster Kade Designs. The creator of Foster Kade Designs is currently raising money to bring home there daughter from China!

Check out both their pages!

Yes, I realize it's 2:15 in the morning...

I have been thinking about adoption and the role fathers play in the lives of their children.

There are a whole lot of metaphors that I will probably bring up someday soon.

God as our father, God adopting us, our insecurities/securities as adopted children who have been removed from the filth that used to be our "home"...you see my point.

However, today is not the day for metaphors. Today is about children who need forever homes and the families who should be providing them. Today is about my sadness about not being able to adopt TOMORROW. Today is about saying "No" to that new car, or video game, or cell phone. Today is about saying "Yes" to a child who can't even count the days since he last ate. Today is about choosing to put our arms, literally and figuratively, around the people Jesus put into our lives.

"Maybe," you say confidently "not everyone is supposed to adopt."

"Maybe." I reply. "But here is what I know-God calls us to more than these material lives."

I'm going to try to post more later. Need some sleep.